I really thought I was doing something. Like, bold-woman-walking-into-her-silver-era energy. Graceful. Grounded. Glowy.

Growing out my gray hair felt like a power move. A “take that” to beauty standards. A quiet revolution on my scalp.

But somewhere between month three and my third spiral in the mirror…it started to feel less like a revolution and more like a slow-motion identity crisis.

🌀 The Transition Zone

Let’s talk about the in-between—that stark line between your natural silver roots and your formerly fabulous color. It’s not elegant. It’s not empowering. It’s confusing.

You don’t feel like yourself, but you don’t feel like the version you’re becoming either. You’re just… suspended in hair purgatory. And this girl right here? She does not thrive in chaos.

🎛️ Hi, I’m a Control Freak (Working on It)

Here’s the deeper truth I’ve had to admit to myself:

I’m a control freak.

There. I said it. Not the scary kind—but the kind that likes her ducks in a row, her planner full, her coffee just right, and her roots not rebelling like they’ve formed a union.

I don’t do well with “awkward phases.” I need a plan, a finish line, and a sense of progress. And gray grow-out? It’s none of those things. So, what started as a self-empowerment journey turned into a staring contest with my scalp… and I was losing.

💇🏼 So I Took Back the Reins

One afternoon, I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t even recognize myself anymore—and not in a poetic way. In a “Who is this patchy, faded woman with no say in the outcome?” kind of way.

So, I picked up the phone (or maybe the bleach bottle—details are fuzzy), and I made the call:

I’m going gray… but not like this. Not through a slow, chaotic unraveling of what used to be me. If I’m going gray, it’s going to be intentional, blended, beautiful—and dare I say it, controlled. Because choosing how I transition isn’t me being vain. It’s me reclaiming a little peace in the process.

🤍 It’s Not About Quitting—It’s About Knowing What You Need

Maybe I’ll try again in a year. Maybe I’ll gray in stages. Maybe I’ll hire a professional this time instead of white-knuckling my way through Sally’s dye aisles like a woman on the edge.

But for now? I need to feel like myself. And if that self comes with highlights, toner, and a little extra sass? So be it.

🧾 The Permission Slip (You Don’t Need, But Here It Is Anyway)

If you’re in the gray grow-out struggle and feel like you’ve lost control of the whole situation… welcome. You’re not alone. And no, you’re not weak for wanting to hit pause.

Whether you rock the silver crown or blend it away for now, you’re still empowered. You’re still aging with style and strength. You’re still the boss of your beauty.

Even if you are, like me, a slightly dramatic boss with a packet of bleach emergency plan and a very specific idea of what “graceful aging” should look like.

With grace, glitter, and just a dash of developer—

Natalie💁🏼‍♀️🌸

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